


Angel

by wreckofherheart



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:09:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreckofherheart/pseuds/wreckofherheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>- "What if we ran away together?" [Eren/Annie]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angel

' _What are you afraid of?'_

_She looks at him, and, suddenly, they are the only two people who exist. The other recruits sitting at tables, eating and chatting disappear. All she sees is him; his boyish face, intrigued smile, and burning eyes. He watches her intently, as if expecting her to attack. He knows he's treading on eggshells here –– no one asks Annie any personal questions. No one asks_ _**anybody** _ _personal questions, but Eren does. He sits opposite her, and asks what she's afraid of, because he thinks it's an act. A lie._

' _What's it to you, Jaegar?'_

_The smile broadens slightly, but the ferocity in his gaze softens, and he cocks his head to the side. When he speaks, it's a whisper, a gentle whisper, so quiet she can barely hear. 'It's everything to me––'_

* * *

**Panic**. Her lungs  _burn_  and her chest is weighed down by something heavy.  **Anger**. Now, she's impatient and  _mad_  she lost; she was so close and  _lost_. So easily, too. She's angry because she's failed as a warrior, she's failed her duty and she's failed as what she is destimed to become.  **Humiliation**. They'll scowl at her, but then they'll laugh. Humans are cruel, twisted creatures. They have laughed at her kind for hundreds of years, and she hates every one of them. They have humiliated her.

All she can think about is her father, and she's  _so sorry_. She's so sorry for what she has done. She's so sorry she couldn't fulfil his wishes, and she's so,  _so_  sorry she's failed to follow his advice. Already, she can see his face, his wide, blue eyes when he realises what his daughter has done.  _His own daughter_. His own daughter failed. The girl he has taught to fight ever since she could walk.

She misses him –– in this moment, she misses the man who looked at her and knew her for who she was. She misses her father, because he is like her. These  _creatures_  she has been forced to mingle with don't understand her or what she is, and they are too cruel and coldhearted to understand. They are  _poisonous_  and  _selfish_. She hates Mikasa Ackerman for  _ruining_  her plan, her escape; she hates that girl for bringing her down. And she hates every other human waiting to peel her away from this form and imprison her.

Maybe she shouldn't do it, but she has five seconds to decide, and she  _decides_. Locks herself away, makes herself untouchable, forbidden. She'll lose any chance of meeting her father again, any chance of meeting the people she knows, going back to where she  _belongs_. But she'll do that. Her father will want her to do this; what they are, their reasons,  _everything_ , is a secret. " _Don't tell them anything, baby girl. Even if they hurt you, you don't say a word to them. You hear me, right?_ "

_I hear you._

By the time they can grab her, it is too late. And her senses begin to shut down, she can no longer touch, can no longer  _feel_ , and she slowly becomes deaf. But she hears him, it's a quiet voice, but she knows it ––  _he's asking for her._ " _Annie... Armin, is Annie all right_?" And she thinks of him. This boy. A human. Cold and heartless, no soul left, and a passion so  _fierce_  she feels tense around him. Yet he smiles, because, for some odd reason, he still finds something to smile about and she hates him for smiling.

If he had seen what she had seen, he wouldn't be smiling. He wouldn't be laughing, he wouldn't be elbowing her playfully, or asking for more training sessions with her. He's jumping with joy when she accepts his offer, and even when she beats him to a pulp, he's still  _fucking smiling_  because, damn it, she makes him smile. She makes this wonderful, awful boy  _happy_.

And he just makes her want to burst into tears.

They are all soldiers waiting to die. Their training is pointless, their lives  _are pointless_. Everything is suddenly a waste of time, and she doesn't understand why he still stands on his feet,  _knowing_  death is getting closer and closer. He knows ––  _wants_  –– to die. He wants to die at the jaws of a Titan because he will die  _fighting_. He is a man  _born_  and  _bred_  for war. He is a warrior, an angel which is so _bright_  and  _kind_ , she can't look at him. He'll make her blind, he'll burn her, but she is addicted.

She wants to know him, understand him,  _reason_  with him. Suddenly she wants to know her enemy and she is  _horrified_. She is scared.

**Fear**. This boy, this creature of insanity, captures her. He intrigues her, he likes her, and he smiles at her. And  _that_ –– that  _frightens_  her more than anything.

* * *

_When she grabs the pad they used to practise his kicks, he rushes over and takes the pad from her. Annie frowns at him shortly, then decides not to argue. Let him think she can't manage carrying a pad to the other side of the training hall. Like it matters. Then, she realises, he's just being polite. She underestimates humans a little too much; maybe she shouldn't view them as wild, venomous creatures after all._

_For the first time, she decides to wait for him. Eren throws the kicking pad into the equipment closet, and returns to her. He's still sweaty, and she doesn't know whether to feel smug or guilty about the huge bruise across his face. That'll take a while to heal. 'I've been thinking.'_

' _Really?' Annie glances at him. 'I never took you as one to think.'_

' _Original,' he mutters, but quickly continues. 'After all of this. Once the Titans are finally defeated, what do you think will happen?'_

_That's all he thinks about. Titans this and Titans that. It's boring. 'I guess you'll lose your job.'_

' _Why?'_

' _Because there will be no more Titans left to kill,' she says, growing impatient and heading for the door._

_Eren doesn't reply. Not at first. She notices but doesn't stop. When she's just about to leave, he finally speaks again. However, his voice has lost its humour, its lightheartedness. Eren is a serious man when he wants to be, and, right now, a thought has crossed his mind and he's serious. He's affected. 'Maybe in our lifetime the Titans won't be destroyed, Annie. If that's the case, then... I suppose fighting against them for the rest of our lives is all we can do.'_

_For a while, she just stands there, drops her gaze. He's talking to her like an ally, because he believes she hates the Titans too. He believes she's on his side and he wants to know what she thinks. He believes he can trust her, that she is his friend. Annie sighs, and turns to face him. She controls her expression, makes herself appear neutral about the situation. 'Are you having doubts?'_

' _No,' he says at once._

' _Then...?'_

_Eren looks at_ _the floor, and she's curious so waits again. While she waits, she studies him from afar. Watches how his hair has become messy, how he's cooled down, but his fringe still sticks to his forehead. His shirt is moist from sweat as well, and highlights his frame. Until now, she didn't realise he is in pretty good shape. His Titan Form certainly reveals his fitness, his excellence in battle. Ah, if only someone were to train him, teach him how to use those large limbs of his properly._

_It is laughable how these humans squirmed in fear at the sight of Eren's Titan Form. They are clueless, but Annie looks on in fascination. At first, she thinks it's impossible. Reiner caught her later the afternoon Eren's Titan Form was revealed, and he was confused, panicking but he was laughing too. "It ain't right," he told her, "Eren... Fuck. Jaegar's human, isn't he? What is this?"_

_Unlike Reiner, Annie maintained her cool, but knew she had to find out more about the boy. Her tribe would want to know,_ _**need** _ _to know. Whatever Jaegar was, he was valuable._

' _What if I ran away?'_

_Annie is motionless; she stares at him, and wonders if she misheard._

_Eren has never looked so determined. 'What if I ran away?'_

' _What if you ran away?'_

' _I'd be free. I could fight any Titans that caused me trouble, but I'd still be free.'_

_Why does this make her heart race? 'Would you?'_

' _No. I can't. I need to fight with everyone else. That's why I'm here.'_

_And her heart slows. Disappointed. 'What if you're wasting your time? What if you could have more outside of these walls?' She lets these two questions hang. 'What if this isn't what you want?'_

_Eren swallows. 'Yes.'_

' _Yes?'_

' _I want to live. I want to be free. I don't want to be ruled by those monsters out there.'_

' _So?'_

_He steps a little closer to her, clenches and unclenches his fist. Then he chuckles. 'I'd never do such a thing, Annie.'_

' _I thought not.' She turns to leave._

' _What if we ran away together?'_

_What if... what if they ran away together? Then what? What if they ran away together from everything and everyone? What if they lived by their own rules? What if they fell in love, had children together and then died together? What if they ran away together? And survived together? It's only a few seconds, but in those few seconds, she drops her guard and wants to do just that. She wants to run away with Eren Jaegar._

_It's sickening._

' _You're an idiot.'_

_Finally, he laughs, and, even if she likes his laugh, it irritates her. Annie opens the door and escapes, but she manages to catch him whisper, 'I know I am,' before the door shuts behind her._

* * *

It is a dream, for sure. Nothing is more beautiful than the whiteness which surrounds her, and she wants to think this is a dream. Finally, unconsciousness has taken hold of her. The crystal has captured her body, made her untouchable and she sleeps peacefully. Waits for an eternity. But everything in this whiteness is so  _real_ , so vivid and she can breathe. Her lungs are no longer burning, and she can move, she feels light on her feet, she wants to move, she wants to use her legs.

Freedom.

This is freedom, in the purest sense. Freedom from everything, freedom from all constraints, from the chains that have tied her down for years. She wants to tell him, the boy Eren Jaegar, that she has found his freedom. This, Eren, is what freedom is. This is  _running away_. This is what he has wanted, what he has truly wanted. The Titans –– the desire to kill them –– she wants him to know that's just an illusion.

What he truly desires is release.

A warmth embraces her fragile body and she shudders, closes her eyes momentarily, and when she opens them again, Eren is there. He's standing before her, and he's smiling crookedly, that smile he likes to show. That smile he likes to give her when she knows she's winning a fight. It's a challenge, his smile is a  _dare_.

But his eyes have shown nothing but love.

'What if we ran away together?'

Annie needs to be sure. She reaches out and touches his face. He needs to shave. His cheek is bristly, but Eren is lazy, and the thought of shaving probably hasn't crossed his mind. He's very new to this sort of stuff. But he's real, he's very, very real. She can touch him, so she retreats quickly. 'What?'

He's watching her fondly. 'Neither of us want to live this nightmare anymore.' Eren flicks his gaze to the floor, 'I know you don't.'

Something captures her. Suddenly the freedom she experiences disappears, and everything is becoming black and dark and gruesome and she feels all alone, suddenly all alone and she needs him. She needs him to hold her, and ask her again ––  _will you run away with me?_  Running away. She wants to run away. But Annie doesn't move. She is still, yet this sense of dreads fills her completely and she's frightened.

He knows. He recognises her fear.

'Annie?'

'You should be angry at me,' she insists, finally enraged.

Eren nods, but he says nothing on the matter. He watches her, and she doesn't understand why he doesn't want to kill her, why he is so calm and wonderful. Finally, his lips part and his voice is soft, 'What are you afraid of?'

Now ––  _now_ , she has nothing to lose. Answering his question won't be the end of the world, it won't let her guard down, he knows who she is and must hate her. And she hates him hating her. She can't stand the thought of him hating her. He is the only fool to want to be around her, the only fool to want to talk to her, the only fool to take her seriously. He is the only fool to understand her.

They are one and the same. Their pasts have shaped their future, have shaped them as individuals. They follow a duty, but a duty which both follow in their own unique way.

What he makes her feel –– so much. He excites her; he's enthusiastic about her martial arts, her combat skills, her true passion. He doesn't want to stop when they spar, and she doesn't want to either. Sometimes ––  _always_  –– she wants to smile at him, share his joy, and pretend she's on his side. And, she imagines that. She imagines she is on his side, that they are in on this together.

'I'm afraid of you.'

She is afraid of how he can make her feel,  _what he can make her think and do_.

It's a power no one has managed to use on her, except for one other man, her father. But she can't think about him, not now. Not after everything.

His steps are light, and she doesn't move when he comes closer. Soon, they are inches apart and he rests his palm against her cheek and she leans into his touch, savouring it. She doesn't want to know how she's made him feel, how he feels after realising who she is, and she doesn't have to know. She can only imagine, only imagine his feelings, his face, his tears and how he  _screams_  her name, slamming his palms against the crystal and giving in.

Surrendering for another night.

'I'm afraid, too.'

Seconds, minutes, hours pass and she can't let him go. Her hand has reached for the cloth of his shirt and she clings to him tightly, and doesn't care anymore. She doesn't care what this makes her look like, that she has failed, that she is worthless and useless.

He kisses her cheek, and she nearly winces, because his kiss is too real. His kiss  _is_  real.

'Run away with me.'

Annie feels tired, exhausted, and has a sudden desire to fall asleep. She wants to fall back, close her eyes, and let her body rest. She has been driven to her limit, she has done too much to her small body.

When she leans her head against his chest, he holds her tight, squeezes, and silently promises to never let her go.

' _Run away_.'

* * *

_Slumped forwards, on his knees, Eren realises how much he can't stand the quiet. Yet he has sat in silence for so long now, he'll just have to adjust himself to the silence. His throat is dry, and his head is heavy, and his heart aches. He is beaten. A man defeated, and, for the first time in his life, he wants to roll over onto his side and surrender. He treated her as his ally, treated her as his friend, thought about her, liked her, smiled at her._

_He truly is an idiot._

_A hand stretches forwards, and touches the surface of the shell she encased herself in. Why does he wait? Why does he wait for her? She's a monster, a terrible, horrible girl who––_

' _Eren.'_

_The voice is strong, but not aggressive or challenging. Patience rings in the man's tone._

' _It's time for you to go. You can come back tomorrow.'_

_Although it is subtle, it is still sympathy. Levi knows, he understands and, for now, he doesn't have it in him to forbid Eren from the room. Eren slowly finds his feet and raises his head. 'Tomorrow?' He asks._

' _She'll still be here.'_

_Eren looks at Annie's sleeping form, and something sharp pierces his heart._

' _Do you think she dreams, sir?'_

_Levi doesn't answer at once. Instead, he watches the boy gaze at the girl in the crystal, in a prison she created for herself. Then he sighs, looks at his feet. Love is a complicated thing, and Levi has experienced its complications more than he would like to admit. 'Yes.' It isn't true. The dead do not dream. The girl he wishes to dream does not dream, but he likes to believe she does._

_And, if it makes Eren feel any better, Levi will tell him Annie dreams as well._

' _What about?'_

_Levi watches Eren's hand clench into a fist, watches the boy tremble, trying his best to not shed a tear.  
Yet his heart isn't strong enough, and breaks._

' _Whatever makes her happy.'_


End file.
